The Thunder Games (Part 2)

And so it begins...


The fifteen tributes slowly rise into the arena and the clock begins to count down... 10... 9... 8... 7...
The tributes are in a circle in a field around a huge pile of supplies and weapons known as the "cornucopia." The field is surrounded by dense forest and a small lake.
6... 5... 4... 
The tributes look around at each other. It's sad, really. They're best buds, after all. Nevertheless, only one player will survive.
3... 2... 1... GO!


Almost everyone makes a beeline for the cornucopia, hoping to be one of the first players to reach a weapon. If one of the tributes -- or an alliance of tributes -- can gain control of the cornucopia, they'll have a major advantage in the games moving forward.

Immediately Cole Aldrich trips over a rock, bumps his head and lays unconscious on the ground. Kevin Durant, Thabo, and Royal Ivey all head straight for the woods -- completely ignoring the supplies and weapons.

Russell Westbrook is the first tribute to reach a weapon: a set of 5 throwing knives. His first knife finds Reggie Jackson in the back -- and just like that, 14 tributes remain. His second knife strikes Skip Bayless (Wait -- what is HE doing here?!).

Russ turns and throws his next knife at Serge, but Serge manages to block it. Serge grabs a bag of supplies and gives Russ the "finger wag" as he backs into the forrest, unharmed.

Russell holsters his final two daggers and chases after Serge.

Meanwhile, Lazar has reached a bow and arrow set and has begun to wreak havoc. His first arrow finds Daequan Cook. Daequan had lost focus on the game and had actually started Tweeting. 

Always insightful.

Lazar's next arrow hits Perkins in the heart. Perk, however, just shrugs, glares at Lazar and continues running towards the cornucopia -- apparently unharmed (It has actually never been confirmed that Perk, in fact, has a heart). Lazar then takes aim at James Harden. The arrow hits Harden in the beard, slicing most of it off. Losing his will to live, Harden stands motionless as Lazar's third arrow finds its mark. 12 tributes remain.

Nobody takes Harden's death as badly as Nick Collison. Nick falls to the ground and immediately starts sobbing in what will certainly be the saddest scene of these Thunder Games.

Lazar takes his arrows and runs into the forest -- Collison, filled with rage, chases after him.

In a surprise move, Kendrick Perkins forms an alliance with Derek Fisher. Fisher has used nothing but "veteran leadership" to take out both Scott Brooks and Nazr Mohammed. Nazr and Brooks had been discussing their social security benefits and had lost track of the other tributes.

Perkins and Fish grab what supplies they can and make their way into the woods.


The only tribute remaining in the field is Cole Aldrich. The other tributes, seeing his body unconscious on the ground, assumed he had died and failed to finish him off. Cole wakes up and seizes control of the cornucopia. Perhaps the biggest underdog coming in, Cole now has all of the supplies he needs to make a long run in the games!

Who'd a thunk?

So after the initial battle...

• Durant, Thabo, and Ivey have all run into the woods without supplies.
• Serge slips into the woods with a bag of gear, followed closely by Russell Westbrook.
• Lazar is in the woods being chased by Nick Collison -- who is desperate to avenge Harden's death.
• Perk (an arrow in his chest that he hasn't bothered to remove) and Fish are in the woods with plenty of supplies.
• Reggie Jackson, Daequan Cook, James Harden, Scott Brooks and Nazr Mohammed have all been killed.
• Cole Aldrich controls all of the weapons and supplies at the cornucopia. (Yeah.)

Only 10 Tributes Remain!